Sunday, 27 July 2008

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    Three Days Grace
    By Three Days Grace
    Let's Start A Riot
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    Due to the high volume... (Companies Can Now Be Rude & Not Be Present!)

    Hey, I've Been Waiting For A Customer Representative For Over Ten Minutes Already!

    Let's face it ladies, either we get treated like we're victims or real bitchy when we call customer service, or 311 (the City Complaint Department in NYC) or the phone company or if you tried to email your elected official! Since when was it ok to put us on hold forever? To make us go through hoops and dial in through a maze of voice activated options so that all we get is frustrated! All we get in the end is a damned message saying that the office is closed and THAT is if we "really need" to speak to an actual human being it has to be during "**normal" business hours or we get patched over to the upstate prison or to a country of representatives who simply read off a script, in an accent I can't make out and waste more of our time! WHEW! That was a mouthful!

    **[NOTE: Normal business hours? Hello! In the 21st Century where Sales Offices ar open 24/7/365, why can't these same companies/public services and servants devote as much time to servicing their customers and constituents properly??  And lest you realize, we   Alphawomen   are working online 24/7/365 from home!   Those are our NORMAL Business Hours! Check out the mug baby! It says so!]

    So I decided that if companies were going to downgrade their customer service areas, if elected officials were all going to blame or use the EVER POPULAR excuse "due to the ENORMOUS volumes of emails and letter and calls I get all day, I'll really try to give you feedback..." (and we get that damned AUTO-REPLY that I have come to HATE!), then I, that target demographic, that target audience, that swing vote constituent was going to upgrade my "I'll make you give me feedback if it's the last thing I do" quotient!

    WRITE THIS DOWN...

    The longer they make you wait - the slower you speak and the lower in volume your voice should go. By the end of the message you've left or the end of the customer service interview from Hades is over, the other person on the line will have tagged your file with, "CAUTION - EXTREMELY EMOTIONAL, POSSIBLY UNSTABLE, MAY BE DANGEROUS IF NOT PLEASED WITH SERVICE!" This is a good thing because crazy people get quicker service. (I mean, wouldn't you be afraid?)

    Ask for every iota of information about your service account or their office. Get their names, their ID numbers, the names of their Supervisors, their Supervisors' ID numbers, the complaint number, the confirmation number, request number, their bra or boxer size while you're at it... get this, what city and country they are in, the customer service complaint mailing address and the direct exchange number- NOT the toll free number for people who have an hour to waste! For that pesky - and elusive - elected official, (and they are not all rotten, there are some gems out there but like you I don't want to have to go mining every time I need my potholes fixed or the streetlight repaired) get the name, their title, the direct number of their staff member who got the short straw that day you when you called their office, the mailing address of both the district and government offices and oh yeah, their fax numbers. Those can really come in handy...

    Now, you might think this is a waste of time but is it? You've already been put on hold for a lousy twenty minutes (gasp, or more), why not be in control of the next five. Besides, if THEY give YOU trouble, go back to what I said and start to speak s-l-o-w-e-r and l-o-w-e-r. They'll be so afraid of you showing up and asking for them personally that you've just gotten a new BFF and an insider at that place for LIFE (or at least until they can get transferred out).

    THAT extra five to ten minutes will not be wasted ladies. After the phone call and complaint portion is over, I do one last thing. I go to my list of elected officials (categorized in two ways, those who represent me and my business and then by topic of interest and committee) anad I get the ole fingers ready. It's the 21st Century ladies and we're not ON THE cusp, we jumped OFF THE cliff a long time ago! In a quick click of my manicured nails (still smelling of bleach - the boys needed their underwear cleaned, but I digress), my email software is up, my quick contact by those two categories have been clicked in the CC:ed section and I email the CEO and SVP of Customer Service.  In two little paragraphs I write in short brief lines what transpired, what I want done and the amount of time they have to see that it does before I start blogging my mouth off. (policy as given to them by me - the master of all things mine!)

    Hey, works for me. And I get some nifty coupons, credits and discounts too.

    This is BklynMom3, over and out and I believe in justice, love conquering almost everything, equality, fairness, impartiality, transparency, accountability, education as a human right for all, and most of all beating those at their own game with their own stick. Especially if they are looking for it by pushing around others and then they deserve it.
    Bklynmom3s Xanga Site - Blogged   Role Mommy - Working Moms Blog

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